You shall do wrong unto others and others shall do wrong unto you. And these opposing wrongs will become your chains. The wrongs you have done unto others will be bound to you in the form of guilt, and the wrongs that others have done unto you in the form of indignation. The teachings of Jesus are there to free you from both. To free you from your guilt through atonement and from your indignation through forgiveness. Only once you have freed yourself from both of these chains may you begin to live your life with love in your heart and serenity in your step.

Time is that which God uses to separate the idle from the industrious. For time is a mountain and upon seeing its steep incline, the idle will lie down among the lilies of the field and hope that someone passes by with a pitcher of lemonade. What the worthy endeavor  requires is planning, effort, attentiveness, and the willingness to clean up.

For what is kindness but the performance of an act that is both beneficial to another and unrequired? There is no kindness in paying a bill. There is no kindness in getting up at dawn to slop the pigs, or milk the cows, or gather eggs from the henhouse. For that matter, there is no kindness in making dinner, or in cleaning the kitchen after your father heads upstairs without so much as a word of thanks.

There is no kindess in lathcing the doors and turning out the light, or in picking up the clothes from the bathrrom floor in order to put them in the hamper. There is no kindness in taking care of a household because your only sister had the good sense to get herself married and move to Pensacola.

Nope, I said to myself while climbing into bed and switching off the light, there is no kindness in any of that.

For kindness begins where necessity ends.

(more…)

To detect your own shortcomings, it can be helpful to witness them in others. You start with judgment: Look at that kid next to me on a plane switching between iPad games every three minutes; he can’t even finish a single level in a maximally stimulating artificial world before jumping to something new. You feel better than. You are right to despise this behavior. And then. And then. Wait a second… Don’t I do something like that too? Maybe not as egregious, but categorically similar. I start a podcast and jump to a different one. Or start in a podcast and decide to go with music instead. I’m in such a rush to pierce the silence that I click buttons before thinking.

1. Let’s start pausing before acting
2. Let’s force ourselves to stick with our decisions
3. Doing either #1 or #2 habitualizes both items

They’ll keep repeating it: Just be yourself. If the repetition commences before you enter the snake pit that is teenage social hierarchies, the advice will seem banal. How could I be anything but myself? Why would I even try to be anything else? Once in the snake pit, the encouragement will feel not banal but dumb and impossible. Don’t these people understand that to stand out is to open oneself to ostracization?

Enter Be confident. Another oft-repeated phrase without deep thinking attached. Here’s some deep thinking. Your mom has one form of confidence; your dad has another; and both are important forms.

(more…)

Some weeks ago, you noticed that something might be off with my front right tire… and boy were you correct: tire separation. Just got all four replaced before those trash ones you spotted exploded. So thanks for your sharp eye—you may have saved my life!

Boy how nice it is to be in an establishment where no music is being played. Just the sounds of humanity.

I would win and be doing interviews and then I’d come home to my hotel and be completely alone.

Soon enough, the world will become loud and overwhelming. All these well-intentioned people telling you what to do and how to do it which partially sends the message that you don’t know what you are doing. And sure, there’s much to learn in youth. But also, adults can learn from you; your age provides vision behind doors adults don’t even know exist. Furthermore, you are the future, so however much adults might disapprove of Generation Alpha’s actions, those actions will indeed grow to dominate.

Therefore, I want to learn from you. But maybe you don’t want to teach. Maybe you see me as competition. Maybe for that aforementioned domination to optimally occur, it’s best to keep your insights tightly locked within your mind. Ok, ok, ok. The negotiation has already begun. Fine.

Does it gain me anything to compliment your father? What if I say he’s outstanding at living his values? It’s true. He pays attention. He finds ways to translate his political views into everyday actions such that even non-adherents find value. Like riding bikes instead of taking an Uber. Like planting trees as a gift. Like generously cooking instead of caving to capitalism’s pressures of convenience.

What if I tell you your mum is so sweet, so pleasant to be around, so quick to laugh, but also so able to express deep intelligence without coming across as better than? Does that gain me anything? It does? Really? Nicceeeeeee.

(more…)

You are able to straddle two contrasting worlds in a way that reminds me of Dexter Holland in 1994. You know Dexter, the lead singer of The Offspring whose shine has faded over the years as his band gained popularity but who in 1994 was an iconic blend of two worlds not often blended: punk style and intelligence. You see punk style—be it a skater, snowboarder, or musician—with its nonchalant coolness and assume the person can’t also be smart, because, well, the person often isn’t smart. You see intelligence, and while the person may also be stellar at traditional sports and perhaps piano, you think that for God to keep things reasonably fair, that nerd can’t also possess what the skaters behind the school possess.

But God isn’t fair. And so Dexter Holland can somehow pull off dreadlocks, front a raw punk band that released the best-selling independent record ever… and be the valedictorian of his high school, earn the nickname “Dexter” because of his mathematical prowess, and go on to earn a PhD in molecular biology. While your bio is not as well-known to me, a single snowboard run alongside you is enough to prove your skate-style, and a single conversation is enough to prove you may already have a PhD (but are too cool to mention it).

So here are two things I’m quite confident you (or Dexter for that matter) will enjoy.

1. Respect uncertainty
   • Nobody knows instead of a personal statement like I don’t know
   • Everything is there to be found out
2. Notice three new things
   • Multiple answers to any question
   • New stuff in your surroundings
3. When learning, avoid absolutes. Learn conditionally
   • Not is, could be, would be, possibly, it would seem that, might be
   • This shifts opens you to possibilities unavailable in absolutes

Tragedy or inconvenience?

Most stress is about things that never occur.

I’m capable of a better outcome.
I’m not capable of a better effort.