Thanks to a tightly edited training montage in the latest action thriller, wherein the good guys GET JACKED! in preparation for conflict, a spark of motivation consumes you. In this moment, when Hollywood magic is gloriously climaxing, hydrogenated-soybean-oil-coated popcorn fingers are blissfully ignored and reality checks remain distant, you will remember how good it feels to be in shape. The mental vows start compiling. No more eating processed foods. Runs 3x weekly. EOD in the gym. Swim 1x weekly. In bed by 22:00 nightly.

By the next morning, dreams of a finely-formed abdomen are overwhelmed by memories of calloused hands, achy legs, and broccoli sandwiches; you have been in shape before and remember the accompanying pain. Suddenly, the motivation that was once so tangible has drifted into the inaccessible ether. And if you are like damn near everyone else, once bereft of that Hollywood juice, the fear of discomfort will now easily triumph over the thrill of possessing a sculpted body.

For all the incessant talk about “echo chambers,” there are, tragically, few words spent grappling with the true cause of free individuals systematically eliminating opposing voices. The oft-cited culprits – social media giants, a polarized electorate, the 24/7 news cycle, etc. – allow us to believe that 2020 is profoundly unique. In some ways this is, indeed, correct, but it’s our base instincts that permit those culprits to register at all. People today, just as all previous iterations of the species, run from pain toward pleasure. This is as true with information as it is with fitness. And it’s true even as the sprint toward instant gratification is done while knowing that a deeper, more sustainable pleasure is to be found on the other side of anguish.

(more…)

Question: Is this person your hero because of his views?

If the answer is no, then your worship may continue uninterrupted.

It’s a problem if my doctors, experts, or leaders reason poorly; it’s irrelevant if my entertainment icon – who I adore for his ability to entertain – thinks suboptimally.

What if it’s always there for the taking?

You want it, you get it.

It only ever feels magical because we want it to feel magical.

It only ever feels out-of-reach because, in that moment, other priorities reign.

when you are rooting for people to die.

It’s easy to delude yourself into believing you aren’t doing this, but you are.

Wanting those hypocrite protesters to cause a surge?

Wanting those idiot rally attendees to be punished?

Wanting those reckless leaders to be wrong?

Yea, stop hoping that people die.

I had a little pride, as I have said, and that was good. More would have been fatal.

Each spell was a mountain to be climbed anew. All I could carry with me from last time was the knowledge that it could be done.

“Tell me,” he said, “who gives better offerings, a miserable man or a happy one?”

“A happy one, of course.”

“Wrong,” he said. “A happy man is too occupied with his life. He thinks he is beholden to no one. But make him shiver, kill his wife, cripple his child, then you will hear from him. He will starve his family for a month to buy you a pure-white yearling calf. If he can afford it, he will buy you a hundred.

“Can no one stop her?”

“Zeus could, or your father, if they wished to. But why would they? Monsters are a boon to gods. Imagine all the prayers.

(more…)

You will soon begin to notice it: there are things that people say to do, and there are things that people actually do, and the two routinely bear no relationship to one another. It’s especially easy to notice this phenomenon in childhood when advice, guidelines, edicts, and instructions are most forthcoming. Upon observing the disconnect – when people give you suggestions that they themselves don’t follow – it’s natural to be consumed by confusion. I am here to help.

When something becomes cliché there is great danger that mindlessness ensues. People will repeat a phrase like “Don’t lie” over and over without really thinking about why such a phrase is true. It just is. In childhood, though, if you ask Why? you’ll usually receive at least an attempt at explanation. It hurts people. Would you want someone to do it to you? It will make you a bad person. Perhaps these reasons can momentarily placate a child, but they are surely not good enough to honestly motivate behavior of anyone beyond a certain (read: young) age. At that tipping point, a safe conclusion is that adults are saying “Don’t lie” simply because everyone else is saying it. That’s it, that’s the mindlessness I’m referencing.

The conclusion is, of course, borne not solely out of insufficient explanations, but upon seeing a world filled with lies. Little lies. Big lies. Little big lies. It’s a bit like what the great Coach Chip Kelly said re: stretching:

(more…)

You are our Lebron James. That is, our surefire, “can’t miss,” once-in-a-generation, absolute lock #1 draft choice in the “Road Trip Partner Draft brought to you by State Farm.”

In the current age of analytics, it’s tempting to overcomplicate the obvious. This error, I promise, shall not be made by our organization. In RTPD, there are three metrics that truly matter, and you happen to score perfectly in all three:

one // Driving Skills // Generally accepted as the least important trait in draft prospects, but an area where if the bare minimum standard isn’t met – stick driving competence – an otherwise tantalizing stud becomes undraftable. Supreme driving skills, the let’s-see-how-fast-I-can-go-in-a-neighborhood balls that you flaunt, are often registered as a sort of “tie-breaker” among elite draft choices.

(more…)

This seems like the absolute perfect time to stop making a mistake I keep making. Your nascence is what makes the timing so right (welcome to the world, btw) because it is expected that the youthful need advice. And it’s the entire advice-giving enterprise where I continue to err.

Quite quickly you will begin to explore the world. Exploration will bring you much joy; it will also bring questions. In need of answers, you may well turn to adults, and, perhaps, you may turn to me at some point. I would be honored by an inquiry. Glowing from the request – Me?!? I can’t believe xxxxxxxxx thinks so highly of me – I’ll be tempted to answer with facts, figures, wisdom, and anything else that counts as “advice.” After all, I’m the adult here, the man with all this knowledge, and the least I can do is share with you. This logic feels right. It will even feel right to you. I asked for advice, so give it to me. No longer will I oblige.

(more…)

There is always a temptation to think you have the answer for someone else. Consumed by this noble desire to help, it’s easy to forget that most problems are not information problems – the fat person is rarely confused about what constitutes healthy eating. Which means that action is the issue, and how to inspire action is as elusive an answer as any.

With you, though, action is unlikely to be lacking either. This puts you squarely in an elite genre of people who are both willing to try and deeply understand the world, and who then possess the will to carry out the prescribed behaviors.

Still, the temptation emerged: Let me get xxxxxxxxx a good book of philosophy. But no, I am the master of my fate, the captain of my soul, and I shall not give in to this desire.

So I give you this book because it is très lolz. That’s it. No grand message. No deeper purpose. Just an enjoyable way to spend some time.

Be well. Or not. But do laugh. If that doesn’t happen, I’ve done something wrong.

Kids used to be beaten. Fortunately, this practice has largely been abandoned as parental gentleness has won out over “tough love.”

A trend away from aggression has also occurred in youth itself. And again, there are victories to be celebrated as unsafe, risky behaviors become less common.

This transformation, though, is not without at least one major downside. While I do not doubt that your wonderful parents will create a loving, compassionate, and fun environment, that you will be encouraged and supported endlessly, growing up shall still be an angsty process. You’ll need an outlet as you grapple with your place in a world. I dare say that the greatest such outlet is really loud and really “violent” music that is screamed along to while driving fast (but not too fast) with all the windows down. But in society’s rush toward softness, the genres of music most appropriate for this great outlet have all but disappeared. No harsh guitars. No dominating vocals. No epic darkness.

Sometimes it’s okay to look back. Progress winds imperfectly, thus what used to be can indeed trump what is. So, like your father before you, when the messiness of life seems too much, Nine Inch Nails will not let you down, will not make you hurt.